Possibilities are you have heard the tip that it’s never a good idea to swamp your ex with communication just after a breakup. A little bit of space and time is always advised with no regard for whether or not you would like to get your ex back ultimately, but there does come a time in your intention for getting him or her back where you are going to be forced to make contact again…but how? That is what I am here to help you with!

Re-establishing contact with an ex should really only be done after you’ve both had some time and space away from one another, and you used that isolation from your ex to do some real work on getting your things straight. Even once that’s all good and you’re ready to contact your ex again, you need to go about it properly.

A “heavy” contact full of feelings and talk about getting back together is a really bad idea at this point. You’re potentially still wounding from the breakup, and likely so too is your ex…and the first impulse you will give your ex by hammering him or her with this sort of talk is stress or panics. You might very well cause yourself to lose your ex for good!

Because of this, getting back in contact with your ex should be a “light” contact without any overpowering “relationship talk.” Your first communication should be an ice-breaker, not a relationship-fixer. It is a slow process to reconstruct a relationship, and you need to acknowledge that and take it nice and easy. The most advised avenues of a contact re-initiation are a short email, text message, or phone call. Meeting in real life is mostly a bit too forward for such a frail situation.

Remember that you do not want to scare your ex away with “touchy-feel talk,” so keep it friendly. Ask how they have been doing, and essentially make your presence and willingness to associate with them known. You’re rebuilding from the ground up, starting at comradeship and working from there. Pushing the gas too fast…well, I think I’ve made it obvious what that could do.

If all goes well with the primary contact, the way is open to keep going on a steady incline. Eventually the time should come when you are passing time together again, and that’s where you can shine as a new and improved you. Once you get the door open, it is up to you how you would like to walk through it.