You’ve just been asked to make a wedding toast at a special friend’s wedding. It’s a wonderful honor to be asked but you have never paid attention to what people actually say during wedding speeches. You also are more afraid of public speaking than rattlesnakes, earthquakes and broccoli soup with quiche combined.

The idea of being a best man is very appealing. There’s nothing you would rather do for your best bud on his wedding day than dazzle wedding guests with a superb wedding toast and share heartfelt sentiments, but public speaking and you, well those words were never meant to be in the same sentence.

So after you get that cold sweat under control, where do you start when writing and delivering a wedding toast? How do you harness the jitters and use them to your advantage. What on earth do you say, you who are known as the strong, silent type?

Here are some pointers on making a superb wedding toast.

- You can’t get started too early. It’s absolutely essential to do your homework if you want to give a successful wedding speech. Do your research. Search out books and articles on the web and in the local library on giving wedding toasts. Talk to other “best men” about their experiences.

- Harness those jitters. The noise of knocking knees is only slightly different from the sound of applause, after all. Work with your fear to help it make your wedding speech the best ever.

- Write, edit, relax and don’t look at the wedding toast for a few days. Then repeat the process as often as necessary until you just know you have done the best job you can. Look at this as a journey and try to enjoy the whole thing, otherwise it will just seem like a chore that you want to get out of the way.

- A bit of laughter, some smiles, these are what you are aiming for when you use humor in a wedding speech. Never tell intimate stories, use crude language or off-color jokes. Never!

- Share how you met the groom, how long you have known each other and one or two of your exploits. Talk about when he introduced you to his bride, how beautiful and talented and perfect for him she is and how you believe their marriage is bound to be wonderful. Make your wedding toast remarks tasteful and sincere.

- Shorter is better. Try for three to five minutes for your wedding speech.

- Mirror, mirror, who is the best prepared of all? Run through your wedding speech, gestures and all in front of a full-length mirror. Use a stopwatch.

- Take five. Try to grab a few moments in the exact place where you will be giving your wedding speech to get a feel for the mike and the room from that vantage point.

- Lift a full glass for the toast. Raise your arm from the shoulder and lock eyes with the bride and groom when you toast them at the end of your wedding speech.

- Move to the bride and groom and hug them when your wedding toast is complete. Then it’s back to your seat amidst well-earned applause.