Does Modern Wedding Etiquette Allow Others to Pay?
It costs a lot to get married in America. Brides, before you start buying from suppliers talk to your husband-to-be first and discuss the wedding budget. Please don’t go bridezilla and make unreasonable demands for your wedding. First, determine who pays for your wedding and will cover the largest percentage of your wedding budget. This will serve as a realistic guideline for couples who would like to know the basic etiquette in who pays for what.
Wedding Etiquette on who pays for the weddings has evolved for the last century. Traditionally, wedding etiquette books dictate that the bride’s father should pay for the wedding. This was during the time when girls were kept by their fathers inside their house, not allowed to work and go to school, but do household chose and must have lessons from lady manners to teach them social etiquette and wedding etiquette in preparation for their life as married women.
In the old days, a a father gave his to a man he believed could take care of her after he passed away. Since he was giving the girl, it was fitting for him to pay for the affair. It was also a sign of his agreeing to the marriage. This is the reasoning behind the more traditional etiquette concerning who pays for the wedding. Times have obviously changed.
Today, wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding is not as rigid as it was before. The bride and the groom can go traditional, and thus should ask the father of the bride to host the wedding and pay for the entire wedding expenses. Or if the parents of the groom have expressed their desire to be a co-host of the wedding event, they may do so, especially if the parents of the groom are wealthy and are able to cover some of the expenses.
Brides and grooms today both tend to be working and making their own living. It is completely appropriate for them to pay for their own wedding. You might be surprised to know that many couples would rather pay for their own wedding. This way they can more direct control over how many guests and who is and is not invited and how the ceremony is conducted. Modern wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding is allows for this.
Because of the high cost of living these days, paying for the entire cost of the wedding may be beyond the means of the parents of the bride or even of the parents of the groom. If the bride and the groom are earning money for themselves, they may consider paying for the entire expenses fo their wedding.
There are many parents who wish to contribute to the wedding budget. Couples should be considerate of their feelings. Allow them to help to the level they desire. Perhaps they have even saved up for this day.
One reasonable alternative is to sit down and discuss the wedding plans with your parents. Talk about the probable cost of your plans and see what they feel comfortable paying for. By doing this, the parents will know exactly how much they will have to pay and you will also know how much you need to provide.
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